It’s been a heavy week and a half. For so many of my clients, the reelection of Donald Trump feels like a gut punch—a renewal of deep fears and uncertainties about the future. I’ve spent hours listening to stories of sadness, anger, shock, and even despair. And I won’t lie: as a socially liberal, USAmerican psychologist, I feel the weight, too. The air feels thick with worry, not just for the present moment but for what the next four years will bring.
But here’s the thing about Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): it doesn’t offer a quick fix for pain. What it offers is a framework—a way to sit with pain, to hold it tenderly, and to move forward with purpose, guided by what matters most. In moments like these, that’s the best compass we have.
If you’re reading this, you might be feeling some of that same weight. Let me walk you through how the six processes of ACT can help us navigate this time with compassion, resilience, and hope.
1. Acceptance: Making Room for All the Feelings
When emotions are loud or painful, our instinct is often to push them away. "I can’t handle this," we tell ourselves, scrolling past news headlines or numbing out with distractions. But avoiding pain doesn’t make it disappear; it just simmers under the surface, waiting to spill over.
Instead of running, try pausing. Notice what you’re feeling—whether it’s fear, sadness, anger, or disappointment. Breathe into those feelings. They’re not here to destroy you; they’re here because you care. Grieving for your country, for justice, for safety, for yourself or others who may be harmed by future policies—these emotions reflect your deepest values.
It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to rage. But don’t get stuck. Feel it, then ask: “What’s my next step?” And know that it’s OK to take breaks also. You do not have to LIVE in the painful emotions. Find reasons to feel joy, wonder, silliness and delight. Make room for laughter, love, curiosity, patience, and hope. Allow these beautiful emotional experiences to swirl in with the pain – not to chase the pain away, but to change the nature of it.
2. Defusion: Loosening the Grip of Painful Thoughts
It’s easy to get tangled in a web of thoughts after something like this: “This is hopeless. Nothing will ever change. What’s the point of trying?” Don’t try to chase away these thoughts. Hold them lightly.
In ACT, we practice defusion — stepping back from our thoughts to see them for what they are: words and stories. Try this: the next time your mind says, “It’s all hopeless,” add the phrase, “I’m having the thought that…” before it. Notice how that simple shift creates space.
Thoughts can’t tell you what to do. Your values can.
3. Present-Moment Awareness: Grounding in the Here and Now
When the future feels bleak, it’s easy to get swept into "what if" spirals. What if democracy crumbles? What if I and the people I love are harmed? What if progress is undone?
But when we wear worry like a blindfold, it steals our access to the now. Take a moment to ground yourself. Feel your feet on the floor. Notice your breath moving in and out. What can you see, hear, touch, smell, or taste in this moment? What needs your attention right here, right now?
Staying present doesn’t mean ignoring the future — it means meeting it with strength.
4. Values: Choosing Your North Star
When emotions are intense or when we are fused with our thoughts, it’s easy to react impulsively – lashing out on social media, withdrawing from people who don’t share your views, or sinking into despair. But in ACT, we anchor ourselves in our values, not reactions.
Take a moment to reflect: “What do I want to stand for in this moment? When I feel sad, afraid, angry, or disappointed, who do I want to be?”
Write down your values. Maybe they include compassion, hope, resilience, determination, or social justice. Then ask yourself: “What actions could I take that reflect these values?” For example:
Compassion: Reach out to someone who’s also struggling and offer a listening ear. Show them that they can feel intense emotions and you will still be there for them.
Hope: Volunteer for a cause that inspires you.
Resilience: Commit to daily self-care practices that nurture your strength.
Determination: Write letters to your representatives or join a local activist group.
Social Justice: Educate yourself on issues you care about and find ways to amplify marginalized voices.
5. Committed Action: It’s a Marathon, Not a Sprint
Change takes time. One of the greatest psychological traps is expecting immediate results and burning out when they don’t come. The work ahead —whether it’s fighting for justice, protecting the vulnerable, or fostering hope —requires stamina.
Ask yourself: “What’s sustainable for me?” Create a self-care plan that includes:
Rest: Sleep, downtime, and activities that recharge you.
Connection: Regularly reaching out to friends, family, or community groups.
Balance: Taking breaks from news and social media to protect your mental health.
Action: Small, consistent steps that align with your values.
Remember, you don’t have to fix everything at once. Small actions, repeated over time, create ripples.
6. Self-as-Context: You Are Not Your Pain
It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when emotions and thoughts crowd your mind. But you are more than your pain. You are the space in which these experiences unfold—a vast, resilient self that can hold all of it.
When the news feels unbearable, step back and ask: “Who is noticing this?” That "noticer" is you. The core of you remains steady, even when storms rage.
Tap into that part of yourself. Trust that you can weather this moment and keep moving forward.
Reasons to Hope
It’s easy to forget in moments like this, but hope is resilient. Progress is rarely linear, and setbacks don’t erase the strides we’ve made. Think of the countless people who, even now, are fighting for justice, equity, and kindness. Think of the movements that have risen in the face of adversity. You are not alone.
Hope doesn’t mean blind optimism; it means choosing to act, even when the outcome is uncertain. It means believing in the possibility of change because history shows us it can happen.
Staying Connected
One of the most dangerous traps in times of division is isolation and further division. It’s tempting to retreat from people who don’t share your views, to block out dissenting voices, to further alienate. But disconnection feeds despair.
Instead, seek connection—not necessarily agreement, but shared humanity. Talk to friends, family, or community members. Find people who remind you of what’s good in the world. Allow yourself to feel love for people who differ from you, even if you have to set firm boundaries to protect yourself or others
Closing: Moving Forward with Heart
As we face the road ahead, remember this: you don’t have to have it all figured out. You don’t have to fix everything, and you’re allowed to feel all the messy, complicated and painful feelings along the way.
What matters is that you keep showing up—for yourself, for others, and for the values that light your path. The time ahead is going to be hard, but showing up is worth it. Your values are the same today as they were before the election. And you are not alone.
Take a deep breath. Write down your values and let them guide you. Find and revel in richness and meaning, small and large. Rinse and Repeat. And trust that, together, we can create something better.
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